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Dating After A Loss

Updated: May 2, 2019

No matter how much time has passed, the pain and grief of losing a spouse or partner will always be there. Navigating the dating world for the first time in a long time can seem challenging. With the arrival of online dating and more recently, dating apps, the landscape of romance can look very different than what you have experienced in the past.


It’s Just Lunch often works with individuals who have experienced this kind of loss. We know that you come to us at a time when you have decided you are ready to start something anew. We are here to help you through this new and unexpected adventure by focusing on playfulness and discovery.


Have Some Fun

Sometimes, people who are grieving feel a good amount of guilt – as though they shouldn’t be able to be happy with someone missing in their life. It is important to start this new chapter by turning your attention to what brings you joy. This can include hanging out with friends, laughing and enjoying yourself, or even going on dates. No one deals with grief in quite the same way and basing your progress off other people’s expectations isn’t fair to you. Only you can decide when and what you are ready for.


Using Your Tools

Starting a new relationship doesn’t have to be hard and it doesn’t have to be scary. You are well equipped to make this experience as fun and exciting as it is meant to be.


First things first: When you decide you are ready to start dating, focus on the positives and what you know you can bring to a relationship. You know what love feels like and you have the tools to make a romantic partnership work. You understand the true intimacy of loving another person and letting them into your world. That in itself comes with a wealth of wisdom!


Using the knowledge and experience that you have built up over the years as a good partner can help with expanding your network and developing new relationships. You already know what you desire and what you are looking for – which puts you at an advantage from the very beginning.


Don’t Compare

Sometimes it is easy to forget that the amazing thing about human is that we have the capacity to hold love in our heart for more than one person. No relationship is going to be like the one you lost, and to compare the two would be unfair to not only the one you lost, but to any new loves in your life. Think of starting something new not as replacing the love you lost, but as two people coming together to build something unique and new.


It’s Okay to Ask for Help

There is always room to learn more about yourself and we understand that putting your heart back out there is never easy. If you are interested in working with our date coach Jolene to help you navigate this uncharted territory, you can email her at Jolene@ijlmidwest

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